The Furr’d Word is now posting what are called “HOWL-oscopes.” The Bi-Peds have a very similar thing that they refer to as “horoscopes.” Apparently, horoscopes are advice and future predictions based on the birthdate of a Bi-Ped and the positions of the stars and planets. Now if that’s not Woof-Wacky, I don’t know what is, but the Critters of Sniff-It Park voted to make this part of our culture and then voted to call these predictions “HOWL-oscopes.”
The cats were a little miffed because they were shooting for the name “YOWL-oscopes” but they got trumped after us dogs ran a great campaign that involved getting all the birds and squirrels on board with our chosen name. The cats aren’t sure what we did to persuade the squirrels and birds, and we’re not talking. We’ll keep this in our bag of tricks as we vote on other stuff in the future. By the way, voting has a lot to do with my next book, but that’s a whole other story…literally. I’ll keep you posted on the chapter book release as we get closer. In the meantime, you can check out my picture book, Boss Paws and the Mystery of Bat-Cat. It can be purchased along with other cool stuff (like Boss Paws t-shirts) at http://bosspaws.com/shop/ Now, back to the HOWL-oscopes.
A HOWL-oscope is attached to a Sniff-It Park Zodiac sign which is based on a Critter’s birth date. My Zodiac sign is called “Broken Bone” since I was born between July 23rd and August 22nd. If you take a look to see which Zodiac sign this correlates with in the Bi-Ped world, you will find that I am a LEO! Are you kiddin’ me – a LEO! I am a dog for Ruff’s sake! Out of 12 Zodiac signs, mine had to correlate with a feline! Now if that’s not reason enough to dump this crazy Zodiacy-Horoscopy ritual, I don’t know what is! But hey, the Critters of Sniff-It Park voted that we should make this Bi-Ped ritual part of our critter culture, so be prepared to read all about some Mutt-Nutty HOWL-oscopes in the Furr’d Word from time to time. Uff-Wuff!
Since I’m here writing on the Furr’d Word blog, I might as well tell you what my HOWL-oscope is for today. Maybe you were born between July 23rd and August 22nd too. If so, listen up because that means your Sniff-It Park Zodiac sign is “Broken Bone” and things are about to get Fur-Funky for you.
HOWL-oscope March 26, 2015
“Broken Bone” (July 23-August 22) – Moving in the right direction is not in the cards for you today. If you wanna play it safe, make sure you resist every urge to take a right turn. Otherwise, you are tempting furry fate and things will get funky.
Well that’s a little too anxiety-provoking for me. As if I’m not neurotic enough, now I have to make sure that every time I want to take a right turn, I need to stop myself and basically turn left and make a circle in order to get to my destination (which I would have reached much more quickly had I just turned right to begin with). Uff-Wuff! Should I tempt fate, throw caution to the wind, and just take a right turn every time I have the urge? Hobo Kitty says I should. Easy for her to say, her HOWL-oscope for today is optimistic and positive. Her HOWL-oscope (which by the way she still insists is a YOWL-oscope, but whatever, the cats were out-voted)…anyway, her HOWL-oscope breaks down like this:
“Swat Monster” (yes that’s Hobo Kitty’s Zodiac sign) October 23rd to
November 21st: Today, you will see things more clearly than ever. Oh yes, this is the day to wag your brain about your goals and how you plan to reach them.
So I get the “ominous, don’t choose the wrong direction” HOWL-oscope and Hobo Kitty gets the “fluffy, see things brighter” HOWL-oscope. That’s great, the cat with one eye gets to see things more clearly than ever and the dog with a neurotic side gets to worry about walking in the wrong direction. Uff-Wuff!
Sometimes HOWL-oscopes are good, sometimes they are Wack, but one thing’s for sure, HOWL-oscopes keep Sniff-It Park festive! You can follow what’s up in Sniff-It Park here at http://bosspaws.com/, https://www.facebook.com/BossPawsRocks , https://twitter.com/bosspaws , or instagram.com/BossPawsRocks
This is Boss Paws – All Wag No Drag!